7 signs you’re giving too much of yourself
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were giving too much of yourself?
In relationships, it can sometimes be difficult to understand where to draw the line on how much of yourself to give, and you end up feeling completely drained.
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re wondering whether you’re giving the other person a healthy amount of yourself, or if you’re giving too much, you probably need to set boundaries.
When it comes to relationships, selflessness and giving are usually seen as very good qualities.
But there is a difference between a generous partner and an over-giver.
So how do you know if you’re being overly generous in your relationship?
According to experts, there are a few things to watch out for.
To find out if you are an over-giver, you should first ask yourself: am I an under-giver?
I often find that excessive giving in relationships, whether in the form of time, availability, attention, love, or gifts, is a sure sign that you’re not getting the time, attention, etc. that you desire in a relationship.
To be fair, some people don’t mind being more generous than their partner.
Excessive giving is only a problem when it is not out of genuine love and affection.
Many people start giving too much because they want more love, attention, and appreciation from the other person.
There are ulterior motives in giving. This is a problem because it can lead to resentment and resentment on both sides.
However, to be sure, you should check the following signs that indicate that you are giving too much of yourself.
So here are some things that experts say mean you’re giving too much in your relationship.
They don’t know how to receive
Excessive giving is not true love.
It comes from the giver’s own inability to receive.
Perhaps you learned early on that nothing in life comes for free.
Therefore, you may question people’s ulterior motives when they compliment you or offer to do you a favor.
If you are unable to truly receive from others and fully and gratefully accept it, you will not give in a healthy way.
Your partner’s enthusiasm for everything you do begins to wane
A subtle sign that you are giving too much is a change in your partner’s enthusiasm for your relationship.
It is okay to spoil someone to the point where they are spoiled.
But when it gets to a point where they start to lose enthusiasm, maybe it’s time to scale back.
You may notice them withdrawing or asking for more space.
You find that you constantly try to do something for your partner, but he doesn’t appreciate it at all.
Instead, they’ve gotten so used to you doing anything for them that they have a certain right to it.
Your partner’s needs always come first
Sometimes relationships require sacrifices. But if you regularly turn down your friends or give up everything for your partner, it means you are giving too much.
Making too many sacrifices (especially when they’re unrequited) can leave you feeling inauthentic and unhappy.
These things add up, and research has found that the more people suppress their own needs for their relationship, the more depressed they tend to be.
You are so focused on meeting your partner’s needs that your own needs are not being met.
You rarely do anything for yourself and instead focus all your energy on giving. It’s one of the reasons you feel so burned out.
You often put your partner’s needs and desires ahead of your own.
While it is good to give and do something for your partner, it is not healthy to neglect your own needs.
You believe that maintaining the relationship is your responsibility
If you think you’re the only one who can fix problems in the relationship, you’re probably giving too much.
You may blame yourself for everything that goes wrong or apologize for things you didn’t do.
They will do whatever it takes to keep your relationship going, regardless of whether your needs are met.
This is more likely if you are in a codependent relationship.
By allowing your partner to rely on you so much, the relationship has turned into a codependent and toxic relationship.
Unfortunately, such a paradigm shift in a relationship can be extremely stressful and overwhelming.
You “like” anything your partner likes
When you first started doing things for your partner, you never intended for the relationship to spiral out the way it did.
Now you almost feel guilty if you don’t do something for your partner and feel manipulated in return.
It is almost impossible to have the same likes and interests as your partner.
If you only do what your partner wants, you will lose your voice in the relationship.
This often happens when you give too much. Remember that your relationship with yourself is the most important in your life. Remember to give something to yourself too.
You are emotionally exhausted
If you constantly worry about your partner’s happiness or take on their problems as if they were your own, you are giving too much.
While it’s good to be your partner’s emotional support, it can also leave you feeling burned out.
When you focus all your energy on the other person, you forget how important it is to take care of yourself.
You give so much of yourself that you are completely exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. In turn, you feel like you’re burning out.
You feel upset
One of the most important signs that you are giving too much is a constant feeling of resentment.
Because your partner takes you for granted and your needs are not being met, you begin to hold grudges towards them.
Because of this, maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner is becoming increasingly difficult.
Relationships won’t always be perfectly balanced, and that’s okay too.
It’s a sign that you’re not doing it for the right reasons if your giving makes you feel upset.
The person who gives does so with the expectation that they will get what they need in return.
If such a feeling is left unspoken, it’s likely to get worse over time, and the more they give, the worse it gets.
When you give too much, it’s important that you first find out why.
If you feel you need to make up for your partner’s lack of effort, consider having a direct conversation with them.
Let him know what you need.
But if you’re doing it because you feel you don’t “deserve” to have your needs met, you may need to do some inner work.
In such a case, they need to build their own worth and satisfaction with themselves.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a giver. If this is your way of showing love and seeing your partner happy makes you happy, then keep it up.
It only becomes a problem when you feel you have to. In a healthy relationship, you should get as much as you give.