Giving up a longstanding relationship is a big step. Often it is still worth fighting. However, for these reasons alone, you shouldn’t stay with your partner
Accepting that a relationship has failed is never easy. Both you and your partner have invested a lot of time, love, and effort and built a life together. Giving up all of this now means not only admitting your own failure but also starting all over again.
That scares me. But if you know which tricks and behaviors to use for yourself, you can still be happy after the breakup. Not falling into the same traps again is just as much a part of wanting to please everyone and much more. And that’s exactly why the reasons below shouldn’t lead you to stay in an unhappy relationship.
1. They stay for the kids
It is undisputed that relationship failure has a huge effect on children. They lose the security and security of the family. Many react to this with uncertainty and behavioral problems. Nobody wants to do this to their child, but there is a big but on this point.
Children have an extremely fine sense of tension. You are very aware when everything is not in the sun with your parents, as mom and dad try so hard to convey. In many cases, it is better to put an end to the relationship and become the best parent separately than to stay together compulsively and expose the child to daily, hidden stress. Consider carefully and, if you are not sure, consult a (child) psychologist.
2. You are afraid of a fresh start
If you were in a relationship for years in which you felt safe and “arrived”, a new beginning seems threatening. Will you make it without the support of your partner? How quickly do you get back on your feet? Many people – especially women – feel vulnerable at this point and threatened by everyday life. As you stand at this point, realize that you could too before that. Why should it be any different now?
3. You fear a financial decline
In a relationship, you not only share your life but also the financial pressures. If you separate from your partner, this often means higher financial costs: in the future, you will pay for the apartment alone, you can no longer choose the cheap partner tariff with insurance, etc. All of this is actually a real threat. But you are not the first to bite through these difficulties. And in an emergency, there are all kinds of ways to get support from the family or the state. There is no shame in resorting to it in a special life situation.
4. You are afraid of losing friends
It is often the case that in a relationship you create a group of friends. When the going gets tough and separation comes up, it is the exception that the friends stick to both partners. The fear of losing people is therefore justified. But let’s face it, if you cut yourself off because you broke up, then they may never really have been your friend.
5. You have false hopes
Not giving up a relationship at the first difficulty is only reasonable. Especially when you have children together. But it is wrong to have false hopes for months or even years that things will get better one day. If you have tried to solve the relationship problems and have not been successful even after various attempts, there is no point in sticking to the status quo. Ask yourself the question “Do I still see myself in exactly the same constellation in a year?” And please answer them honestly.
6. You are afraid of loneliness
Anyone who has lived and loved together with their partner for years is naturally afraid of being lonely. Will the silence eat you up? Do you even know what to do with yourself? Many people ask themselves these questions after a breakup and are afraid of the answer. Being alone can be a problem at first, but no one will force you to live your life completely without other people. Meet up with friends, do sports, meet new people. It is difficult to pull yourself together, but it makes the separation much easier. (The best tips for getting over a relationship can be found here .)
7. They are afraid of not getting better
Their relationship lasted for many years, you’re not 20 anymore. Are there any men your age who are not in a relationship? Of course, there are. And it’s not just the “leftovers” for a long time. After all, you wouldn’t call yourself or your ex that either.
It didn’t work out between you. It’s the same with other couples. And maybe your future dream man and partner has just separated from his partner elsewhere and is now free to be happy with you. Think positively and walk around the world that way. A smile makes you look much more attractive.