5 ways to survive after your boyfriend cheated on you
All relationships come with their own set of hurdles and challenges, but the most challenging is moving on after being cheated on. CHEATING in relationships is the hardest thing to overcome, but accepting reality can be the first step in surviving infidelity and getting your life back on track. Here are some tips to help you recover from a scam.
You are devastated by the discovery that your boyfriend has cheated on you and wonder how you will ever survive the pain you are feeling? Do you just want to curl up and disappear?
I’m so sorry if you feel this way. I can absolutely understand that – I felt the same way as many, many women before you. Having your boyfriend cheat on you and breaking your heart is one of the worst things you can go through and it feels like it will never end.
But I can promise you that not only can you survive your boyfriend cheating on you, you can actually be successful! I know it seems impossible right now, but I promise you, you can! Here are 5 ways you can survive after your boyfriend cheated on you!
How do you heal when you’ve been scammed?
1. Know it’s not your fault.
First of all, if your boyfriend cheated on you, it’s NOT YOUR FAULT. Many women blame themselves when their boyfriend cheats on them. They believe that if only they were hotter, smarter, friendlier, more outgoing and close, their boyfriend would never have cheated on them, etc.
When a client of mine got rid of her boyfriend cheating on her, she initially assumed it was her fault. She had worked too much and spent a lot of time with her friends and she knew she wasn’t paying him as much attention as he might like. So she blamed herself for his infidelity.
I reminded her that there are two people in every relationship and that infidelity doesn’t usually happen in a vacuum. I asked her if her boyfriend had spoken to her about feeling neglected. She didn’t say it. She suspected he might have, but since he didn’t talk about it, she just kept going.
I think if her boyfriend had said something, maybe she could have changed her behavior to make him more comfortable in a relationship. But he didn’t say it – he cheated.
And I would say that cheating is the coward’s way out. Rather than communicating with her, my client’s boyfriend looked outside of their relationship for the connection he wanted. And that wasn’t her fault. And neither is cheating on your boyfriend.
2. Talk to him about it.
I’m sure you’re torn at the moment. Part of you wants to scream and scream and run out the door. Another part of you wants to pretend none of this happened and just get on with your life. And I suspect that the thought of talking to your boyfriend about what happened in any reasonable way seems incomprehensible to you.
One of the most important ways to survive after your boyfriend cheated on you is to talk to him about it. And why? Because it’s important that you both get a chance to talk and be heard. If you can do that, it will be easier to plan the next steps.
First you want to hear what he has to say. He may not have anything to say, which would make it easier for you to decide whether to stay or go. But he may very well say something he wants you to hear. Something he hasn’t said yet, like my client above. Either way, it’s important that you give him a chance to talk — and you have to be willing to really listen to him.
Second, it’s very important that you get the opportunity to say what you have to say. It’s important to be able to ask questions, to be able to express your anger and pain, and to be able to say whatever you have to say so that either way you can move on with no words left unsaid .
An important part of surviving your boyfriend’s cheating on you, whether you stay or not, is making sure you’ve said everything you want to say so you know you can move forward because you’re being honest with him and to yourself
So if you really feel like you have nothing to say to your boyfriend, that nothing he could say would make a difference, you don’t need to talk to him. You have every right to walk away and never look back. He cheated. you didn’t do it you can decide
3. Get help.
If you want to survive after your boyfriend cheated on you, I would 100% advise you to get help – a professional who can help you process your feelings and figure out what your next steps are.
Of course, you also have your friends, your sister, your mom, your co-workers, the internet, and the guy who runs a bar nearby. You can talk to all of these people about what happened and each of them will have an opinion to share with you. The thing is, people who aren’t professionals will give you advice based on their own experience and not necessarily your story.
Also, our friends and relatives will usually tell us what we want to hear. If one night you’re feeling sentimental about yourself, your boyfriend will back you up with reasons you can use to work things out. If you go out with another friend the next night and express your anger, that friend will give you all sorts of reasons to break up with him.
The more people you ask, the more confused you’ll be. And if you decide to get back together with him, all the people you shared your story with won’t be too happy to welcome your boyfriend back.
So if you want to survive after your boyfriend cheated on you, you should seek help. Find someone (like me!) who will listen to YOUR story and YOUR feelings and use their professional experience to help you get where you are now. Wouldn’t that be a great feeling? to get ahead?
4. Keep your head up.
As I mentioned before, many people crawl into their beds when they recover from the fact that their boyfriend has been unfaithful. They are devastated, feel guilty, afraid of the judgment of others, and full of self-loathing. Their agenda: TV, ice cream and boxes of Kleenex.
While I support anyone who needs to back off when they are breaking free from their boyfriend cheating on them, I 100% recommend that you limit your time with it. Why? Because it only makes you feel worse about yourself and lowers your self-esteem even more.
How long it takes people to isolate varies, but I would definitely advise you to get off the couch within a week. If you wait any longer, you could get rid of her forever!
So what do you do when you get up off the couch? Anything that brings you joy – or if not joy, then happiness. And if not even happiness, then something that misery does not feed.
If you like to go for a walk, then do it. And make a breakup playlist to listen to while doing it. Spend time with your girlfriends. Go home and let your mother take care of you for a while. buy yourself something nice plan a trip Take on a work project. Whatever it is that makes you feel stronger. Strong enough to keep going.
And if you haven’t already had the conversation with your boyfriend, now is the time to think about having it. Talking to him will help you decide what the next steps are in a relationship.
5. Go on with your life.
Yes, your boyfriend cheated on you. And that sucks. But that doesn’t mean that infidelity has to ruin your life and affect your future. And you’re the only one who can stop that from happening.
I know you feel betrayed right now. You feel like the person you gave your heart to broke it. And you believe that you will never be able to love or be loved again. The idea of trusting anyone else is unimaginable. It’s how you feel right now, but it doesn’t have to determine how you’ll feel in the future—if you don’t let it.
How many people do you know who enter a relationship with a rock in the board because they have had problems with their ex in the past? They’ve been hurt and they don’t want to let that happen again, so they put up walls. And what does that do? They damage or end the next relationship and the next and maybe even the next.
I always tell my clients that people are only people and that people are fallible. We all make stupid decisions that we regret. And sometimes that person makes a mistake that affects you. And that can be very harmful.
If you try to acknowledge that this one person, this one human being, made a mistake and that doesn’t mean that every other human being in the universe will be unfaithful, you will find it much easier to move on with your life, to be happy and to free you from love
If you get stuck in the past and base your decisions on someone’s unfaithfulness, you may never be able to free the love you want. You don’t want that, do you?
So you see there are ways to survive after your boyfriend cheated on you. I know it seems inconceivable, but it’s true. This moment is just a moment in your life. He doesn’t have to define you. You can take what happened, learn from it and move on with your life.
When my ex tried to free another girlfriend, I always interpreted it as “abandoning” me. That’s how I felt. And while that was technically true, the reality was that our relationship hadn’t been perfect. So I started to see it not like he left me, but like we broke up. And that’s what we finally did! This reframing helped me move on and use my coping skills to survive and thrive!
You can do it too! Make yourself accept that it’s not your fault. Talk to him about it (if you want to). Get help outside of your social circle. Keep your head up and step forward with confidence.
That one thing doesn’t have to define you. It’s just a small slip in your long life. Do not forget that. The life and love you want is out there waiting for you!