5 situations where it’s absolutely okay to hate your ex
People say there is a thin line between love and hate. There are many of us who can testify to the truthfulness of these words. When we get to know someone and fall in love, we usually float on cloud nine and see only the good in that person. At this moment, we cannot imagine that we could ever hate this person. But after a few months or years of relationship, or at the latest after the breakup, things could look completely different. All of the good and positive things we have felt about that other person can turn into hatred in seconds.
Hate is not a positive thing. It’s not something you would like to feel, but sometimes it’s inevitable, especially in the early stages of a breakup. Of course, you will later forgive him and forget everything, but it takes time and a little patience in these early stages.
A dose of hatred at the beginning is normal and perfectly fine as you are only just beginning to see all the things that were wrong in your relationship. Not only may you be mad at him, but also at your own stupidity. It’s like you made a decision to go blind and let some things happen because you loved him. But sometimes we’re just too close to things and don’t see the forest for the trees. It is only when you are far from this person and the relationship that you can see that they got you wrong.
Nothing turns love into hate faster than the following things listed:
1. He is only in love with himself
He always knew how to make himself happy, but he didn’t care if you were happy. His needs always came first and yours second. If he was happy and completely satisfied, he may have to give you some of his time. He taught you what the word selfish really means. He would always brag about his successes, but he would never acknowledge or appreciate your success. You hardly play a role in his life. He didn’t love sharing because he kept everything to himself. Why give some of it to others?
2. He lied to you all along
Lying became part of who he was. His lying habits started small and then got bigger and bigger until he was a really compulsive liar that you had to deal with in some way. He started with little things. For example, you texted him at 9 p.m. and he replied at 3 p.m. the next day with: “Hey, I’m sorry, I’ve already slept.” You may have bought it from him for a while. But at some point, it became too much. After all, he lied so much that the word that came out of his mouth could no longer be trusted. His stories changed every time he retold them.
3. He wasn’t there for you, even though it was his job
In some situations, such as when his friends or family said terrible things to him, he was always silent. He wasn’t there and didn’t support or defend you. He made you endure disrespect and later when you were alone he said that they were wrong and wronged you with what they did. But then it was too late. He should have defended you when he got the chance. You were apparently not that important to him. If this makes you angry, then that is perfectly understandable!
4. There was nothing he could offer you
Of course, you didn’t expect him to finance your life. But a little invitation here and there would have been nice. He was unemployed and looking for a job, but secretly hoped he wouldn’t find one. So you were the one who paid for most of the things. Even if he’d found a job, it would only have been for a short time and you’d be left with bills and everything else anyway. He wouldn’t be ashamed if you paid for everything for him. He wouldn’t stop you, he would take it for granted.
5. He betrayed you
Did he cheat on you with someone else? Of course, you can hate him in this case, regardless of whether it was a one-off affair or a year-long affair. Cheating is unforgivable and extremely painful for each of us. You trusted him and he cold-heartedly cheated, lied, and betrayed you. One day he declared his love for you and assured you that he was loyal to you and the next he shared a bed with another woman. If that’s supposed to be love, you don’t need it. You really deserve someone better!