5 signs someone is a conversation narcissist
When you’re dealing with a conversational narcissist, the signs are always there; you just have to look. The moment you see someone trying to dominate a conversation or sabotage it in their favour, congratulations, you met one!
Most people have had the experience of being in a conversation with someone who is a conversational narcissist. The tendency to keep bringing the conversation back to yourself is inevitable when talking to this person. They love to have a conversation about themselves, their lives, and their own experiences.
Unfortunately, they never really learned how to have a healthy back and forth conversation. The reason for this varies depending on the person. All conversational narcissists have these traits in common.
Here are 5 signs that someone is a conversational narcissist
1. You like to hear yourself talk.
This is the person who wants to speak. Most of us have seen this before; we are so absorbed in our thoughts and feelings that we forget we are having a conversation with someone else. We forget to move through the conversation, asking questions, and letting the other person speak.
We want to vent; we want to speak and there is no room for “discussion”.
When you’re talking to someone who just wants to hear themselves speak, there is no room for you to have your say because they’ll take over the whole conversation.
At each twist, what you discussed can turn into a lengthy story about how the narcissist had the same experience and what happened to them. It can go from talking about your tough day to trying to overshadow you and describe their life as much harder than yours.
2. They long to talk about their dramas.
A conversational narcissist who loves to talk about his struggles often sits in a victim role. They like this place because it gives them sympathy, which means attention. They cannot move through difficult times healthily, but blame everyone and everything for their struggles.
While life can be tough at times and we all need a safe place to vent our frustrations, it is important not to stay in this room. If you allow yourself to wait too long, your mind will be comfortable in this negative zone. He will get used to the attention he gets as he repeats life’s struggles and difficulties.
While this is a sane person’s rational thinking , a talkative narcissist may not be able to have these self-reflective thoughts.
3. The show-off.
On the one hand, we may be dealing with a covert narcissist who loves to talk about their problems in order to gain sympathy and attention; now we are dealing with the open narcissist whose only job is to brag.
This is a form of self-absorption that comes from deep-seated insecurities.
While it is healthy to have good self-esteem and positive self-talk, it becomes a slippery slope when we start bragging too much. Taking pride in yourself can quickly go from having healthy self-esteem to showing the world your deep-seated insecurities and need for recognition and praise.
4. You feign caring.
With all toxic methods, things are not always black and white. Sometimes you may have a conversation with someone who seems healthy. They seem to be preoccupied with you and asking you questions. They seem to be having a grown-up conversation and then suddenly they find a window to talk about themselves.
That’s what I call “fake caring”. While they can love you, that doesn’t stop their ability to want to talk. They may want the attention, the sympathy, to vent or to brag. Either way, you’re having a conversation with the person who traces it back to himself.
Regardless of how you get the conversation back on yourself, there is one thing all of these methods have in common … uncertainty. As with all narcissists, there is a lot of uncertainty beneath the surface.
There are a ton of reasons someone might be a conversation narcissist. Some people actually have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder while others are just plain conversational narcissists but are otherwise healthy and lovable. The reasons for this behavior are different.
5. Some people crave attention.
They ask questions, but shortly afterwards the conversation turns back to themselves and how they feel and what they think, or they change the subject and start talking about a story that affects them.
Some people are unaware of their behaviour. This is for the people who are not narcissists but may need a lot of confidence. They don’t mean anything bad, they just are sometimes absorbed in themselves and don’t pay attention to their actions.
If you are insecure and at times felt unheard, you will resort to extreme ways to “be seen.” That is, if you were raised by a self-indulgent, narcissistic parent. If it was never about you, you can grow up and start developing these unhealthy behaviours. It’s a coping technique that has helped you gain attention.
So the next time you see someone who is constantly trying to dominate a conversation or to blame it on themselves, they know they are showing signs of being a conversation narcissist. Don’t let that bother you, because that’s nothing more than her insecurity and obsessive need for attention that is talking.