4 types of lies women tell themselves when stuck in toxic relationships
Women in toxic relationships tell self harming lies to themselves. Never underestimate the power of denial.
It is popular to say that love is blind, and no saying could be more accurate when it comes to women in emotionally abusive, toxic relationships and marriages with men who have narcissistic personality traits.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse live in a state of constant denial in which they are able to focus on memories of times when their abuser behaved in what it meant to present themselves as considerate, conscientious, and caring .
Unfortunately, the lies these women tell themselves to perpetuate the illusion that they are safe in their own home and in their closest relationship are a dangerous form of self-harm.
Early manipulative behaviors like “love bombing” and vivid, typically passionate memories lodged in their minds (along with those addicting love chemicals) become the idealistic dream of what should be that they just won’t let go of can.
Here are four self-harming lies women in emotionally abusive, toxic relationships with men with narcissistic personality traits tell themselves so you can open your eyes to the truth.
1. “If I can show him how much I love him, he will change.”
Deep down, you believe that all inner imperfections can be healed through your unconditional, fearless love. If you are clinging to the ideal of saving the relationship and helping your partner heal with the power of love, then think again.
What one really does is an endless source of narcissistic supply, constant attention to nurture this toxic state.
They should occupy you, involve you and keep you busy with their games, thought tricks and manipulations. They are consuming your thought space. Like a tick, they get under your skin and bleed you out emotionally in terms of health, happiness and well-being.
Your intrepid love is only the life support for this vicious condition that eats up all your healthy parts until finally everything is devoured by you and nothing is left.
2. “You’re just going through a tough time. Things will get better quickly. “
People going through tough times can have short-term behavior changes, but when the behavior follows a consistent pattern of kindness followed by cruelty over time, you know that it’s not just them struggling with a difficult problem, but someone who has a persistent, long-term pattern of abnormal – and abusive – behaviors and personality traits.
3. “You are not yourself. You have never been like this before.”
What is really going on is that you can’t let go of the image of the person you thought they were, but they are who they always were.
Check the evidence.
Is he interested in how you feel?
Does he react with concern if you point out how hurt you feel after an argument?
Does he confirm your opinion when you describe your frustration with the relationship?
Or does he trivialize your feelings and tell you that you are just imagining it?
4. “I can’t give up on him.”
Understand the difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. The two are very different. Know when you’ve had enough and find the strength to set limits.
It’s difficult when you are a person who sticks to things, through good and bad times, through illness and health. You believe that these are truths, that there are no real reasons to give up or give in, because to do so means personal defeat. Fail.
This thinking is just supposed to hold you tight .