How would you classify a person as a pathological liar?
Well, as stated by various experts and specialists in the field, a pathological liar is someone who lies continuously and is dishonest without having a really logical motive or reason.
And that’s why it’s very stressful to have a relationship with someone who happens to be a pathological liar. You will end up questioning your own mind and reason. You may be tempted to think that you are crazy.
However, you should remember that a pathological liar will only lie for its own sake. His intention is not really to convince you that you are just crazy or illogical. Nor is his intention to manipulate and deceive you for his own selfish reasons.
If you happen to be in a relationship with someone who will lie just because they are already anchored in their system, then it is likely that you are in a relationship with a pathological liar.
He may not intend to hurt you or make you mad – but it can still be very dangerous to stay in a relationship with him.
You will end up feeling very tired, confused and frustrated. You will have to deal with many emotions in the midst of all the deception and misleading.
That’s why you always want to make sure that you’re in a relationship with a pathological liar. It might be better for you to just leave the relationship.
3 signs that your partner is a pathological liar
Here are a few signs that your partner is really a pathological liar:
1. They do a great job when it comes to making it look like they’re not liars
You have probably already read a few articles and pieces that are designed to teach you to recognize some basic signs of whether you are dealing with someone who is lying to you or not.
Maybe you have learned to notice whether their breathing is harder, whether they blink too much, whether they keep eye contact or not.
But the sad news is that none of these signs will apply to someone who is a morbid liar. They are really good at lying and they are aware of the very basic behavioural signs that a liar has.
As a result, they have learned to do the exact opposite of what people normally expect from a liar. They won’t really submit to the typical lie and make it difficult for you to recognize them.
Pathological liars are so good at behaving the same whether they lie or not. You could tell the truth and they will behave in a certain way. And they could tell a lie and act the same way. You will never be completely sure about this.
2. They are always confident about what they say, even if it is not true
One might think that pathological liars lie for a good reason. You may think that they are deliberately trying to deceive you and distract you from the truth.
They actually convince you that what they are telling you is the truth. You are determined to simply create completely different realities for yourself. And they will try to convince you of their self-made versions of reality.
That’s why nothing really changes if you catch them lying. They are convinced that they are telling the truth all the time, even if they obviously live in an illusion.
You may have caught them red-handed, but they still won’t believe anything you can say. In fact, they could even transfer the whole situation to you.
They will look as confident as ever, even if they are already lying to you.
3. They can be very manipulative in a subtle way
A pathological liar can be a very manipulative individual. However, the dangers they pose with their lies can be very subtle. And that’s why it’s really hard to see how manipulative they really can be.
The reason the type of manipulative behaviour they engage in is so subtle is that they don’t really intend to be manipulative.
They may try to convince you of a fantastic lie or idea. And you might see it as controlling or manipulative behaviour, but they’re just themselves.
How to deal with a pathological liar
If someone is lying to us, our trust in them can feel broken. And being with a pathological liar can be very frustrating because lying doesn’t make sense.
It can test trust in any relationship and make it difficult to even have a simple conversation with the person.
As soon as you notice a pattern, it hurts even more. If you think you are dealing with a pathological liar, however, you have options on how to deal with the situation.
Don’t lose your temper
As frustrating as it is, it is important not to let your anger overwhelm you when you encounter a pathological liar. Be supportive and kind but firm.
Someone who lies pathologically may have a tendency to answer with a lie first. If you confront them about their lies, chances are they will deny it.
You can get angry and shocked by the charges.
Remember that it’s not about you. It’s hard to deal with being personally lied to, but pathological lies have nothing to do with you. The person can be driven by an underlying personality disorder, anxiety, or low self-esteem.
When you talk to the person about their lies, remind them that they don’t have to try to impress you. Let her know that you appreciate her for what she really is.
Don’t attack them
If you notice that the person is lying, do not attack them. You can question what they say, what might encourage them to stop the lie at this point.
You can also let her know that if she is dishonest, you don’t want to continue the conversation.
If nothing changes and you have expressed your concerns, you may have to withdraw from the relationship. Lies can hurt deeply, and the pathological liar must realize that changes are necessary to keep those he loves in his life.
No matter what happens, stay calm.
It is not worth your energy to argue with someone who lives in a fantasy world. Starting a conflict with someone who may not know what to do (or could become defensive) will not help anyone. Make sure you always stay cool and don’t deal directly with the lies.