3 Reasons why love is not enough in a couple

Hollywood made us believe in a completely unrealistic fairy tale: love is all you need.

Love can save you from any situation.

This is the answer to your prayers.

It is your only source of happiness.

And I pass the best.

If we all like to believe in this miracle, it is unfortunately far from being the truth.

Hollywood lied to us!

Besides, books lie, advertising lies, music lies and even your best friend who has just fallen in love lies.

It seems to be part of our human nature to idealize love.

But therein lies the danger: we create unrealistic expectations of what love really is and what it can do for us.

This, in turn, often makes it difficult for us in our relationships.

The truth is that love alone is not enough.

Love itself is a pretty boring party animal.

Unless he is accompanied by a few friends such as respect, humility, trust, dedication, harmony and friendship.

Now, you might say: yes, but for me, everything goes together.

That’s right, true love brings that automatically.

Ask a woman who loves a man who treats her badly.

Ask her why she won’t leave him.

Because she loves him.

Pretty bad, this love, isn’t it?

Here are three hard truths about love and relationships:

1. Love doesn’t necessarily mean you’re compatible.

Falling in love is purely emotional.

The heart and hormones paralyze the brain and we are helpless.

But then comes everyday life and she doesn’t resist at all emotionally.

It requires logic and rationality.

The problem is: love asks for nothing.

Love doesn’t care if we meet someone who doesn’t like us at all or whose lifestyle just doesn’t match ours.

Who has different goals, ideas or points of view.

Love doesn’t care if we end up with someone who doesn’t love us at all or even doesn’t care about us.

Love itself is blind, yes, and quite ignorant.

Love is nothing without a head.

2. Love does not solve relationship problems.

Let me tell you about my last relationship.

I am no longer 18 (!), I am even dangerously approaching my forties.

We meet at a party.

The sparks fly, it’s fireworks, immediately.

Only here, I live in Paris, he lives in Nice.

But whatever, we can do it, so we’re in a long distance relationship.

Because we are both busy with work, we see each other at most once a month.

It’s okay, we still love each other.

However, over time, it becomes increasingly difficult to find dates.

Alright, so be it, we’ll get through this.

Maybe one day he will move.

Only he should give up his business in Nice.

Maybe I’ll move there one day.

Problem: what am I supposed to do there?

Without my job and without my friends?

We realize that in the long run, one of us will have to take a step back, because we have only seen each other four times in the last five months.

We write a lot of messages, but at some point we just feel empty.

We argue violently.

But we love each other, so we patch things up.

Love is lousy kit when the relationship has cracks for other reasons.

They can come from a lack of time and distance or a lack of confidence, for example.

3. Love is not worth every sacrifice.

If you love someone, you will die for them.

This is how true love should be.

When we love someone, we accept their whims.

“In good times and in bad times” is the motto.

When you love someone, you put your own needs aside.

Nope !

Of course, you’ll often have to jump over your shadow and find compromise in your relationship — and that’s a good thing.

That’s what makes a relationship.

But there are things you should never sacrifice: your dignity, your self-esteem, your physical and mental health, or your dreams.

A relationship should enrich you, it should not take away from you what is really important to you.

You are important and still your own person.

You have the right and the duty to be kind to yourself.

And whoever isn’t good for you doesn’t deserve your love.

Yes, I know, it sounds so simple and that’s exactly what love is not.

Fortunately, love is not a once-in-a-lifetime event either.

You can fall in love when you are young.

You can fall in love when you are old.

You will meet many people in your life and you will see sparks again.


So is love really bad?

Do not mistake yourself.

I have nothing against love, on the contrary.

The world is pretty in pink, for a while.

Ultimately, however, a lasting relationship doesn’t work in just one color.

Love alone is not enough, no.

It’s a good start, the best, absolutely.

But what happens then?

A friend once said that she tested her relationships for their friendship qualities.

At first, I thought it was a bit silly, that “my partner should be my best friend” stuff.

But then I realized she was right.

I wouldn’t tolerate a friend lying to me all the time.

I would end the friendship.

So why should my partner be allowed to lie to me?

A friend I can’t talk to gives me nothing.

Why should it be any different with my partner?

3 Reasons why love is not enough in a couple


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