Here are 22 things that happen when an empath falls in love with a narcissist
1. The empath enters into the relationship and desires deep, unconditional love. The empath is attracted to the narcissist and feels that his need for affection is satisfied, even if the narcissist does nothing to develop the connection. The empath feels fulfilled and “in love” just because he is near him.
2. The empath starts to believe that it is a kind of “once in a lifetime” connection with the narcissist and the narcissist confirms it – what he has is something special. That makes it impossible to just go away.
3. The narcissist can sometimes give the impression that he wants the relationship as much as the empath. In fact, the narcissist wants nothing more than a constant confirmation, and someone who is always ready to give.
4. Over time, empath is made to feel incompetent. Even if not stated directly, the narcissist will imply that he has the power by saying that he “does not want to offend them,” or by looking down on their interests, or perhaps by not paying them daily bills or others Things that are a symbol of control. This will leave the empath feeling to the narcissist who believes that he “needs it,” or at least that no one else is allowed to have it.
5. As your relationship grows, it will be unbearable for the empath to see the narcissist in any kind of pain. They will want nothing more than to talk to them, to help them, to cheer them up … do whatever is necessary to make them feel better again. Subconsciously they want to “fix” the narcissist or at least change their life.
6. What the empath does not understand is that the feeling or the idea of healing the partner’s deepest, most intractable wounds feels the same to him as the healing of his own. It is not the same, however.
7. At some point, the empath begins to be afraid of advocating for his true needs – it is more attractive for him to remain likable (but secretly dissatisfied).
8. The more love, care, dedication, affection, and empathy work invested in relationship work, the more powerful narcissism becomes. At this point, it can be difficult to see that there are any real problems in the relationship … that is, until the empath has reached its breaking point.
9. At some point the empath begins to take on the features of the narcissistic. Because their emotional needs are not satisfied (and they have confused their partner’s emotional needs with their own), they begin to be “selfish,” or at least predominantly engaged in their own well-being. Above all, they proclaim: “My feelings are important,” and the narcissist does not like that.
10. What neither party is aware of at this point is that the narcissistic needs are never really satisfied (ie, they wake up and decide to fulfill them). They will move on to other partners, other hobbies, other great business ideas and creative pursuits, travel the world … and they will still be as miserable as ever.
11. The narcissist will make the empath feel “crazy” because he reacts as he is. They will say that they are overdramatic and that their concerns are unfounded. This type of dismissal is the most obvious way in which they exercise power and mind control over the empath.
12. The empath begins to blame himself. They begin to wonder if they will ever be worthy of love, or what they did, that put them in such a terrible situation.
13. What the empath does not realize is that there is nothing * wrong * about them, there is something extraordinary * real * about them, they were just manipulated and used and lied to. They have an emotional capacity that outshines that of many other people – that’s not a bad thing, it’s just something that needs to be protected.
14. Even if the empath tries to authentically communicate with the narcissist, it will not help. They will be dismissive and use sloppy logic, they will find excuses and ways to blame, if not convince the empath that it is at least partly their fault.
15. At this point, the empath will have to make a serious self-assessment. You will have no choice. They will realize what happened in the past, what made them become so defenseless, and it will be the beginning of their transformation.
16. The empath will always identify himself as a “healer,” and if he finds his inner strength, he will probably focus on his life’s task of helping other people in a healthy, constructive way (perhaps through a job or a task).
17. The empath must realize that not everyone you fall in love with can be trusted. Not everyone has the same intentions he has, and not everyone thinks he thinks the way he does.
18. The empath must also realize that they were as wounded as the narcissist – and that the point of their relationship was a teaching opportunity, a moment for them both to get up and see how they have to heal themselves. (The empath will find his way, the narcissist usually does not.)
19. Empath will consider experience as a painful catalyst of her awakening.
20. The narcissist will continue to pretend that nothing is wrong and that nothing has happened. They will deny the intense, powerful connection they once had with someone and almost seem to “forget” it, and they will pursue it elsewhere. After some time their problems will get worse and they will have to cope with the fact that they can not connect with themselves, let alone with other people.
21. The narcissist will go away and look for the next victim.
22. The empath will be wiser, stronger, and more cautious as to who he gives his time, energy, love, and life.