12 things a self-respecting woman should never settle for in a relationship

You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for love.

She came into my bridal salon alone and appeared to be in a great hurry to try on a specific wedding dress and place her order. Noticing how unhappy and tense she was, I convinced her to take a deep breath and spend some time with me for a quick “counseling.”

I knew the style she wanted was totally wrong for her slim figure and wanted to help her make a better choice. She agreed while nervously checking her watch. I could clearly see that she was unhappy.

Buying a wedding dress and planning a wedding should be fun, I told her. Why wasn’t she enjoying it? A kind word was all she needed and she broke down and cried.

This is Caroline’s story: The man she wanted to marry was very wealthy and also very demanding. He was the one who accepted the dress and made sure she wasn’t “wasting” her time trying on something else.

This is the dress he wanted for her. He only gave her thirty minutes to buy the dress and then return to her house. He monitored her cell phone and every step she took and knew exactly where she was.

I thought to myself, “This is crazy.” The woman could have any man she wanted. She was an experienced yoga teacher and extremely beautiful, intelligent and personable. Surely she knew what she was getting herself into?

Caroline’s story is a classic example of women putting themselves in a relationship that limits and hinders those who are willing to follow the rules set by their partners and lack a voice of their own.

They give up their love, their passions, their friendships and their life for their partner. They don’t see the warning signs staring them in the face so blatantly.

A healthy relationship is meant to add freedom and life to our lives. It doesn’t mean putting ourselves down so that someone else can feel better about themselves. It is important that you own your own power, have sound beliefs and speak your truth about yourself and your life in order for soulmate love to become your destiny. When you give up your identity for someone, your self-esteem is attacked and your self-esteem is diminished.

You are worth being loved just the way you are. You don’t have to change, prove yourself and do nothing but be yourself. By being who you are, you are worthy of being loved.

It is so important to remember that settling in a relationship is not an option.

Here’s what you must never give up to be in a relationship:

1. Your sense of your identity

Know that you are already great. You may think you’re not good enough, but don’t underestimate yourself or what you can be made of. You want to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are, even with your imperfections, because they really see you instead of wanting to change you.

2. Your right to make your own decisions in your own time

Do what feels right for you and don’t give up your power. There will be compromises in relationships, but you still need to have the freedom to think and do what feels fair. Give, but don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.

You don’t have to commit, and there’s no reason to commit if you’re not ready. Don’t allow others to control your happiness. Your instinct will guide you, so listen to it.

3. The right to choose who you let into your life

A relationship that prevents you from seeing other important people in your life, like your family and friends, and cuts you off from the world should not be worth seeking. It’s time to part with it.

This is manipulation, possession and obsession and far from true love. You are allowing your self-esteem and personal freedom to choose to be eroded.

4. The freedom to speak your truth

Sharing your thoughts and feelings openly, honestly, and genuinely is what makes a healthy relationship. Your goal is to be heard and understood. Ultimately, it’s about being authentic , not betraying your self-esteem, staying true to yourself, and standing by your beliefs.

5. Your body image and self-acceptance

Believing that you must change your body image in order to win someone else’s love is not serving you. Your decision to do what you want must be for you and for your own health and well-being – not for others. It has to be your conscious choice of how you want to be.

There is an unrealistic expectation in society that a woman must be of a certain height, dress a certain way, and possess certain material things in order to be worthy of love. The media shows pictures of models wearing sizes 0, 2 and 4, but in reality 80 percent of women in the world are between 14 and 22 .

Accept your body as it is and be comfortable in your own skin. Language is very powerful because it expresses what you believe to be true, so only speak kind words about yourself. The man who is worthy of you loves you in your entirety without wanting to change anything.

6. Chemistry, Compatibility and Communication

It doesn’t matter how pretty or educated and successful your partner is; if you don’t feel the kind of attraction that gives you that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re in the same room, then you lack chemistry.

Are you compatible in terms of morals and ethics, values ​​and beliefs, religion and politics, educational level and financial situation? All of this helps to maintain a strong bond and friendship. Communication is extremely important. Aside from what you see on the outside, you must enjoy each other’s company and be able to communicate openly and have interesting conversations.

7. Your inner peace and joy

Don’t allow anyone to steal your joy. You have the freedom to sing out loud, paint your walls, write poetry, read whatever you want, love and laugh until the wee hours if you want, sip your favorite wine, listen to your favorite music play and dance, meditate if you want, do yoga and do whatever brings you inner peace and healing.

There is nothing worse than realizing at the end of life that you have wasted your life living on other people’s terms, always tiptoeing, afraid to laugh, sing or just be silly.

8. Your expectations of yourself and your life

Follow the path that makes the most sense to you and always be true to yourself. Just as everyone has dreams and problems, you too have yours. Living someone else’s ideas for your life can lead to resentment and misery.

Always be yourself and go your own way. Your life goals are important, so make sure you communicate them clearly and allow your partner to share their goals as well so you can support each other in achieving them.

9. Your expectations of his commitments

A man who fails to honor his commitments shows a lack of responsibility. In order to build a trusting relationship, your partner must honor their commitments.

Does he do what he says he will do? Does he show up on time or at least call ahead if he’s going to be late? Or does he keep you waiting? A man shows his love by the commitments he willingly makes and should yet keep.

10. Dealing with dependencies of any kind

An addiction is anything that prevents a person from coping with the normal tasks of everyday life. There are many types of addictions – drinking, smoking pot, gambling, shopping, computer games, pornography – anything that keeps a person from being present, calm and authentic.

Addicted people are unable to be present, to care, and to lovingly respond to your needs and desires. They avoid topics that need their attention and live in a world of illusions. They become overly angry and full of anger when they are deprived of something or when they are in their addiction. Their behavior becomes light and often abusive.

There’s not much you can do, nothing you can fix. It is their battle that they want to overcome and conquer, and they must be determined to win it. You cannot change them, you can only be present and support them remotely if possible until they are fully healed. Know that you have no power over what that person will do.

Make a commitment to take care of yourself, surround yourself with your own support system, and set your boundaries. Give the person time to demonstrate their commitment to their recovery and allow them to use their time to get things done. You will know what feels best for you and make your own decision whether to stay or go.

11. Your self-respect

Let’s face it: there are some disturbed men who love to control and manipulate. They can become very domineering and disrespectful and threaten you if you go against their wishes.

If you don’t set boundaries early on with your partner and teach them to respect you, you’re sending them the message that they can always expect you to behave this way and that they’ll just ignore you. Maintain your integrity and self-respect. Be assertive and give your partner a clear sense of respect for your boundaries.

12. Constant sacrifice

In your frustration and despair you feel that you must sacrifice for love; you feel like you have to constantly give in to your partner’s needs to please them in order to be loved. Anger and resentment quickly build up in you because you don’t know what to do anymore and you realize that you’re not getting what you actually want in the relationship.

You give too much and do everything to earn his love. You have all the evidence that he can’t be the man you want, and yet you stay and give even more. You find yourself in the same situation with everyone you relate to, as the pattern creeps in even though you promised yourself to set a boundary and put your needs first.

You haven’t learned what it means to receive love, and until you do, your relationships can’t change.

12 things a self-respecting woman should never settle for in a relationship

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