12 signs that YOU are the PROBLEM in the relationship
Recognizing your mistakes is always the hardest part, especially in romantic relationships.
It’s a lot easier to blame your partner and end the story without feeling guilty than to say that you’re the one who made mistakes in the relationship.
If you want a good and healthy relationship, it is very important that you are able to look at the bigger picture of your relationship objectively.
So think a little about yourself and your own actions, and recognize when you’re wrong, and then admit it to your partner.
If you do any of the things listed below, then you need to acknowledge that the problem in your relationship is you, not your partner.
1. The partner is the one who does everything
This applies to everything: work, daily household chores and working on the relationship. It’s easy to be a taker, but in a relationship you also have to give.
You may not even realize that you fell into this role. You need to understand that your partner will not long tolerate such behavior in the relationship.
If you just sit and ask your partner to do things for you like cook, clean, go grocery shopping, pay the bills, and a whole host of other things and never do anything in return, then you’re not a good partner.
You need to think about what you can do for your partner and your relationship. Try to do something with love and kindness at least once a day, no matter how unimportant it seems to you.
2. You always put yourself first
How often do you respect your partner’s wishes and opinions when planning activities together?
If you’re the type of person who is always in charge and dictating where to go and what to do, don’t be surprised if you have relationship problems.
Sometimes it is necessary to put the needs and desires of other people first.
In a relationship there has to be a give and take. It doesn’t work without that.
A relationship where only one person dictates everything won’t last very long because each person has their own breaking point.
The fact that it can be stretched out longer in tolerant people doesn’t mean it won’t burst sooner or later.
If you’re aware that it’s much more often » dancing to your tune « , then change that and let your partner decide what you’re going to do.
3. You don’t want to talk about problems in the relationship
Healthy communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. How long a relationship lasts can easily be judged by the quality of communication.
Are you one of those people who ignore their partner after a heated argument and refuse to continue communicating with them?
A cold war and the punishment of silence will not help solve the problem or improve communication between you, especially if you overdo it and it goes on for days.
Sometimes it can be wise to stay silent and calm down so you don’t end up saying something you’ll regret later.
But don’t overdo it; try to calmly discuss the issues the next day, even if that means addressing your partner first.
Talking about a problem is much better than staying silent. Silence is useless.
4. You constantly want to change your partner
Always remember: nobody likes to be corrected and changed.
Your partner may not be perfect and likely has many weaknesses, but that doesn’t mean you have to change them all to make them better for you.
Respect your partner as a person for who they are and don’t try to make them into something they are not. Of course, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try to be the best possible version of himself, but that’s up to himself.
Your role as a partner is to support him, not give him orders and try to turn him into a fictional person of your making.
5. You constantly point out your partner’s flaws
If you keep telling your partner all the things they’ve done wrong and listing all their problems and weaknesses when they’re having troubles, then you know the relationship won’t last.
We don’t know why you would want to hurt the person you love by focusing on their imperfections and flaws, but if you do then YOU are definitely the problem in the relationship.
In order to fix this big mistake and win back your partner’s heart, you should first admit this mistake and apologize to them.
Then tell your partner what you are thankful for in your relationship and why you value them as a person. This will improve his mood and show him that you care about him.
6. You are not willing to compromise
Have you ever said to your partner, ” It’ll either go the way I want it or it won’t go at all” ?
Compromises are part of every healthy and successful relationship.
And if you are a person who is not willing to compromise, then you must realize that it will not be easy for you to find a partner who tolerates it. Your relationship cannot last.
Yes, there are things you shouldn’t give up in order to be happy with your partner, such as your personal space, your relationships with your family, your desire for a career.
But there has to be healthy communication and the occasional compromise on both sides. If you really love your partner, then you will look for a compromise solution in every situation.
7. You have unrealistically high expectations
It’s normal for both of you to have expectations of your relationship together. The problem is when those expectations are unrealistic and impossible to achieve.
If you have such expectations of your partner, then the problem is clearly yours.
Life isn’t a romantic comedy, so you can’t expect your partner to act like a character from a Hollywood movie.
Talk to your partner about each other’s desires and expectations, but first think about them yourself and make sure they’re realistic. Then it will also be possible to realize these expectations.
8. You keep silent instead of talking about your feelings
We come back to communication in the relationship. You have to understand that silence is always bad in a relationship.
Maybe you don’t like to talk a lot or open up and share your feelings, hopes, and fears with someone else, but that’s not right.
Silence raises suspicion in your partner. When you are in a relationship, you have to understand that you have no other choice.
You can’t just say, ” I don’t want to talk about it .”
If you are not open and avoid communication, most of the problems in your relationship are your own fault. Nothing is solved by silence.
9. You complain to your friends instead of your partner
You act like everything is fine when you’re with your partner, only to turn around and tell your friends about your relationship troubles behind their back.
This is a very bad habit that you need to correct.
Your partner needs to be the person with whom you need to talk about the problems in your relationship and with whom you need to find solutions to those problems.
Imagine finding out that the person you love tells their friends mean things about you. would you stay in this relationship
Complaining to friends is normal to a certain extent.
Exposing them to all the anger you have pent up is extremely unhealthy, however, and over time you could lose both your partner and your friends.
10. Your partner is afraid to be honest with you
How do you react to things your partner says to you that you don’t like? If you’re the type of person who explodes at every little thing, you’re the problem.
Your pent-up anger and inability to balance stem from not knowing how to act like an adult.
If your partner feels like they can’t be honest with you because they’re afraid you’re going to freak out, he or she will keep those feelings to themselves until it gets to the point where things get out of hand.
11. You do drama because you love it
Here it is clear that the problem is with you, but you may not see that it is a bad habit of yours.
If you cause trouble just because you love the drama, then something is very wrong with you.
You may think that this will keep the passion alive in your relationship, but this is totally the wrong way to keep the passion going.
That way, the partner will just walk away from you.
12. You never say you’re sorry
The key to love is knowing you can admit when you’re wrong.
If you don’t know how to take responsibility for your actions, you can be sure that the problem in the relationship is you.
Apologizing is a sign of maturity. If you can’t even say you’re sorry, you might not be ready for a committed relationship.