The hardest thing in the world is to look at someone you once loved with all your heart and to realize that these emotions can change as well. And part of you cling to the relationship by blaming yourself for that change, while the other half of you can not deny what’s in your heart and what the truth is.
There was someone doing the right thing, but there comes a time when you just stop being right for each other.
1. You feel as if you can not connect like you used to.
It’s almost as if the connection you once had, which was so deep and heartfelt, suddenly fades and no matter what you do, whatever you do, whatever it is, it just is not there anymore. And it’s like looking at someone who looks the same and sounds the same, but something you can not explain is just different.
2. Silence is more pleasant than speaking.
It’s almost as if you run out of words. “How are you?” And the “I love you” do not seem to be said by someone who is serious, but rather a commitment, because that’s how it has always been.
And it hurts because you never thought you would ever get that far. So you settle for silence because that’s easier than admitting what’s actually going on between you two.
3. You do not miss him when he’s gone.
He walks away and you realize that you do not miss him the way you should. And then it hits you – something has to change.
4. You seem to miss the past more than to appreciate the present.
You cling to the moments when you fell in love with him, but those words now almost feel like a lie. And you do everything you did in the past, but it does not feel like it used to. If all that you have in common is the past, you will surely know that there is no future for the two of you.
5. You are not learning from each other anymore.
You have experienced so many things with this man and have been to so many places with him. When you were with him, you learned something new every day, and you loved it. But now you have arrived at this strange standstill, where you have learned everything that you can learn from each other.
6. You are not happy anymore.
No matter what that person does or how hard she tries, it does not make you happy anymore. And it would be cliched to say that it is me, not you. But that’s really it. Sometimes you are with someone for so long that you realize that you have lost yourself in this relationship and that you have to find yourself again.
7. You feel as if he holds you back.
And you hate to admit that. But feeling uncomfortable is a good thing. It means something has to change. You have to be someone who is more than just in the relationship with him. Although you loved it while it lasted, you can not help but admit that this good thing has come to an end, and it’s time for you to go off alone and learn what it’s like to be without it.
8. You argue more than you want.
Small things that never made you angry in the past seem to irritate you more and more. It’s almost as if you are now looking for reasons to be angry with this person or to start a fight. Maybe then you both will realize what you know in your heart and what is true, that you are better off without each other.
9. One of you seems to be making more effort.
But what makes it difficult is when a person does not want to give up the relationship. You look at him with love and admiration that he believes so much in you, but you can not pretend that your heart is feeling nothing.
10. There is no answer.
Maybe it’s you who deliberately does not answer, or you realize he’s not answering anymore. Where once you chatted every minute of the day, there is this silence that seems so loud that no one is brave enough to say what needs to be said.
11. It would be okay if it ended tomorrow.
If he called suddenly and said it was over, you would not be upset at all. Actually, you would be relieved if he said so.
12. Going on seems like a breath of fresh air.
The thought of being with someone else is something you look forward to in your future.
The thing is, disconnections are never easy. To follow the heart at the expense of the possible injury of another person does not feel right. Sometimes you are afraid to let go, and then you realize later that you have made a mistake.
But sometimes you have to part with people if you want to have a chance to grow together again. And sometimes, in an attempt to find oneself after a breakup, you find someone else who adds all those feelings to the life you’ve long forgotten.
No matter which side of a breakup, it’s never easy. And sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your happiness by accepting the fact that letting go is the best thing you can do for both of you.