Men too have their secrets that they hide from women. Read on, what are the things your husband will never tell you.
As if written by a man.
Men aren’t exactly known for being communicative.
There’s the stoic cowboy or tough, calm man stereotype, but the reality is that most of the time, men aren’t raised to show their feelings. They are told to pull yourself together, pull yourself together, pull yourself together.
That might make them look cool and strong, but it also means: YOUR HUSBAND HAS SECRETS . (He does.) Your husband has a lively inner life that he doesn’t share with others. Of course, this does not apply to EVERY man. Some men never stop talking about their insides.
But it is very, very common that men learn to keep things to themselves early on.
It can be small things (“This skirt makes you look like the librarian in Ghost busters”) or big things (“I don’t want to die alone”).
Anyway, most men have a list of secrets that they won’t tell anyone, especially someone they fall in love with.
If you’re interested in the secret life of men, here are 10 big, everyday things your man probably will never, ever tell you.
1. He is insecure about his body.
That’s him. Even if he looks like David Beckham.
Men may not always pay attention to their personal hygiene, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hypersensitive to every love grip, wrinkle, or gray hair on his body.
He may wear the same hoodie every day, but he still worries that he’s not as handsome as he used to be.
2. He has no one to talk to.
Male friendships are decidedly different from female friendships.
One of the biggest differences is that men typically don’t use their friends as a sounding board for what’s going on in their life. They may discuss vacation plans, TV shows, or how things are going at work, but far too often men feel uncomfortable talking to their pals about life, death, fears, and everything in between. So men hide these things from their friends, just like women do.
And that’s a shame. It’s a lonely shame.
Keep that in mind the next time your man struggles to bring you the BIG topics. He doesn’t have much practice at it.
3. He likes the Gilmore Girls.
He does. She is smart, funny and well played.
But there’s a far bigger social stigma that he’s a Gilmore Guy than that you’re into Sons of Anarchy, so maybe that’s why he doesn’t always advertise he’s on #TeamJess.
4. Nobody compliments him.
Men get a lot of validation in school and in the office, but there isn’t really a culture that supports men receiving casual compliments from their peers.
Are you mad that your husband didn’t notice your new jeans? When was the last time you noticed his new shirt? Or the last time you told him he looked great without it being a special occasion?
Men need the same kind of validation as women – they’re just not good at asking for it.
5. He doesn’t know what he is doing during physical intimacy.
He does not know. He makes it up as he does it. And there is some pressure because maintaining an erection is not always the easiest thing to do.
Even when the spirit is willing, the flesh can be weak, and this is a very embarrassing thing to do when it happens during passion. (He can’t change it.)
Plus, getting you to orgasm is much more difficult than getting him to orgasm.
Granted, this sucks for you, but it just puts the pressure on his shoulders.
6. Sometimes he pees in a bottle.
He does. And occasionally in the sink. More often than you think.
He knows it’s gross … but it’s not THAT gross and he’s pretty proud of how adaptable his peeing ability is.
7. He likes children.
It can be hard to admit because society is VERY strange about adult men and children.
Far too often, when a father goes to the park with his children, he is eyed suspiciously by the mothers all the time. And if one of his children’s friends falls and opens his knee, he cannot hug and comfort the crying child without being overly aware of who is watching him and who is condemning every word and action.
Yes, he knows that statistically there are more men abusing children than women, but it still feels terrible to be constantly suspected of attempted pedophilia just for trying to get his niece to the playground.
8. He doesn’t know what you did with your hair.
Unless you’re doing something REALLY drastic, the chances are higher than average that your man won’t notice when you get highlights or cut an inch here and there.
But that’s not because he’s not paying any attention to you. It’s because – men have boring hair. The vast majority of men REALLY have nothing of interest up there.
Realize that your man probably doesn’t even have the verbal or visual vocabulary to figure out what your barber was up to today.
He’s not apathetic. And he knows it’s not romantic at all, that he has no idea.
He just doesn’t know what to look for, so be lenient with him.
9. It hurts when you hit him.
Do you remember when you got mad at your boyfriend/husband and slapped them angrily? Or hit him on the back a few times? It hurts. It even left an imprint.
But men shouldn’t admit that. And your husband finds it especially worrying because he knows that if he’d done the same to you, he’d probably be in the back of a police car by now. (Rightly.)
Yes, men are taller, but that doesn’t mean the same rules don’t apply when it comes to angry body contact.
Abuse is abuse. Don’t hit him.
10. He’s scared.
Other things men hide from you are that he’s afraid of losing his job, getting sick, going crazy, dying alone.
He has all of the same fears and fears as you (and a few that are unique to him). But he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
He has no friends to talk to about his fears, his parents may have stigmatized him for help, and he doesn’t want to look weak in front of his girlfriend/wife / girlfriend.
Even if your man is spitting big, you should know that he’s just as fearful and human as the rest of us. He may never admit it in mixed company, but if you really know him you will be able to see it behind his eyes without him ever having to say a word.
And if you can be there to hold his hand on those long, lonely nights without him having to ask, he’ll be more grateful than you can ever imagine.
What else do you think men hide from women?