10 signs that your heartache is turning into something more serious

Learning how to deal with heartache can be slow and confusing, but there are still important signs to watch out for so that you can tell if heartache has become more serious.

When your heart is broken, you mourn the loss of an important person in your life and the loss of your dreams for the future that have included that person.

But it is sometimes difficult to tell whether your grief looks “normal”. For example, how do you know if it’s better to share your negative thoughts with a friend or therapist?

While any symptom that is particularly debilitating or long-lasting can be a reason to seek help, there are certain indicators that your heartache is turning into a more serious situation. Here are ten signs that your heartache is more than it seems.

1. You can’t think of anything else

It makes sense that your ex is constantly in your thoughts. But if they really are all you can think of, it’s time to reevaluate it.

Notice whether thinking about the relationship dominates your thoughts – or whether you keep repeating these events and blaming yourself for everything that went wrong.

In addition, it is necessary to keep track of when things are going from ordinary to remarkable to potentially alarming.

If you start to feel that life is not worth living without the other person, it is a sign that you can use professional support.

Similarly, when you start to feel like you are worthless or unloving after a breakup, it indicates that your heartache is moving into the area that can best be navigated with help. If you’re in one of these ways, support is definitely a good idea.

Even if you’ve found a healthy balance, you can still experience some of the symptoms of heartache, but they can begin to dissolve.

You may still be thinking about your ex over time, but you start having fun again and the memory of the relationship begins to fade. You even learn from mistakes or decisions that may not have been correct.

Once you’re there, it can even feel empowering to be single.

2. You feel physically ill

It is normal to feel heart pain in your body. This overwhelming strain often causes physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, heartburn, headache, low energy, loss of appetite, insomnia, hypersomnia, or increased appetite.

But if the feelings in your body are still there or worsening, it could be a sign that you need more help than you get. The pain continues and begins to affect you physically.

It could look like getting sick, eating too much or too little, or developing a rash or headache.

Your physical and mental health are inextricably linked, so it’s important to take care of both, especially at times when you need to be more resilient.

3. You avoid your friends

Maintaining and supporting friendships after a major breakup can be incredibly difficult. Though they are some of the most important people in your life, friends are not trained professionals and may not know how to give you the support you need.

If they don’t give you what you need, it is still not the best choice to avoid your friends and isolate yourself from them.

And if you’re still hanging around with them, but don’t feel quite right, don’t blame yourself. When your friends are tired of talking about your breakup and you feel stuck, it’s time to seek professional help.

It’s okay to acknowledge that your friends can’t solve everything. There is no shame in going to a neutral third party (therapist, counselor, etc.) to handle this with a little more ease.

4. You feel numb at work

One of the worst feelings after a breakup is that you have to go to the office too quickly and you know that you can’t really focus on work. It’s pretty universal. But if that numb feeling just doesn’t go away at work, it’s time to take note of it.

If someone has a heartache, the pain can be so great that it feels unbearable. Some individuals are able to tolerate this pain because they know that it is temporary and will heal over time and they will even learn from it.

However, if the heartache doesn’t let you go, it can feel daunting and colour your whole life. If heartache also shapes your everyday office life, it is a sign that you deserve to take more time for yourself.

Look inside yourself when you act like a robot, or you stop being passionate about your work. Another red flag is skipping the total work (for more than a few days). You shouldn’t be afraid of your job.

5. You don’t care about your needs

Self-care is always important, but it is essential when you are reorganizing your life. Even the most boring self-care can be vital while you are grieving.

If you’re unable to take a shower, comb your hair, and go out, it’s a sign that it’s time to get some outside help.

If the heartache is so intense that we don’t want to work or go to school after two or more weeks, we have lost interest in life around us, we have the feeling that we literally cannot or do not want to continue – then it is it’s important to look for help.

6. You are no longer having fun

It is understandable that you don’t feel like having fun after the breakup, but if you notice that you are no longer able to enjoy things, it could be a sign of something more. Notice if you can still enjoy the things you used to enjoy.

But don’t judge that feeling. We feel emotional pain in the same part of our brain where we feel physical pain, it actually feels like it is in your body.

It can create a barrier to enjoying the things we loved earlier and can feel like a deep depression. Your body is experiencing great emotional and physiological changes; sometimes he just needs a little help to get going again.

7. You are struggling with limits

After a breakup, it is most difficult to find closure and boundaries. But if spying on Instagram and Facebook has become a habit you can’t break, it may be time to check yourself.

If you’re obsessed with the person, chasing them (on social media or in real life!), Or structuring your life around them, or trying to regain them, it might be time for help.

Once you get help from a friend or professional, you can ask yourself a series of questions to see if you’re feeling better. Ask yourself whether you are able to set limits and adhere to them (not to call, not to text, not to check social media compulsively, not to stop by their workplace)? 

8. You refuse to meet (for the wrong reasons)

After a bigger breakup, dating can be very confusing. And no matter what you think about rebounds, dating after a breakup is just different.

While it might make sense not to jump into something new, it is important to analyze the reasons for your decision, regardless of the outcome. Pay attention to whether you refuse to consider dating – not because you make a healthy decision to enjoy your single life, but because you are afraid.

9. You try to numb your body

Alcohol and drug use are particularly dangerous because they prevent you from getting to the root of your problem. 

We do not allow ourselves to immediately feel the full intensity of the heartache using things like denial, distraction, rationalization.

To find out about the signs of alcoholism and other addictions.

After the breakup, it can be a good time for a sober month or a new set of guidelines.

10. You still can’t sleep

Not being able to sleep the first few nights after a breakup is completely legitimate. If your former partner shared your bed, all the more. But not being able to fall asleep after a long time can be a sign of something more serious.

Another red flag is when you have insomnia – bedtime becomes something you fear because you know you won’t sleep well.

Practising good sleep hygiene, remodelling the room, and meeting a psychiatrist can help with insomnia. Being able to sleep better can help you feel better on all fronts.


No matter what the circumstances, heartache always remains a painful affair. Whatever you are going through is aggravated by the real physical pain of losing someone you love.

Romantic rejection tends to harm in a way no other type of rejection does; it is so deep, intimate, personal, so it would worsen any plight that a person is already in.

Of course, every reason is a good reason to see a therapist, so this is just another part of life where it is worthwhile to deal with your mental health openly and researching. Of course, speaking to someone about “normal” heartache is also perfectly acceptable.

A professional can help you research what went wrong, help you set protection limits to enable healing, and help you get ideas on what kind of changes you want to make from it.

In the meantime: talk to someone, take care of yourself, sleep a little and hug your dog. You should at least feel a little better soon.


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