10 reasons why you shouldn’t contact your ex after he broke up.
It hurts and you hated losing him, but in the end, you had to accept his decision. Maybe you have already been abandoned by someone and had a long time to crack. Everyone probably goes through that at some point.
Then, sometime later, you ask yourself: should I call him? If he wants to talk to you, he knows where to find you. And he didn’t contact you, that actually means you shouldn’t talk to him, right?
Here are 10 reasons why you should never get in touch with your ex after he broke up with you:
1. You actually know that he doesn’t really need you, otherwise he would have contacted you long ago
It doesn’t help to keep trying to help someone who doesn’t want you to help them! You respect him and shouldn’t decide for him what he needs. How do you know he doesn’t need you? It’s simple: he’s not with you. That says clearly that he doesn’t need you!
2. He might find it embarrassing and push you further away from himself
If you love your ex and want them in your life, it doesn’t mean you automatically have the emotional resources to be in a real relationship with them. Maturity means realizing your own limits and letting someone go instead of holding them on. Love doesn’t conquer everything. And in case your ex doesn’t really love you, why in the world would you run after someone who doesn’t want you?
3. He broke up for a reason and you should believe him
Taking stock of the reasons for the breakup is one of the most important aspects of getting back together. You have a right to know these reasons, but there is also an end to the discussion. Sometimes the reasons cannot be further discussed, but are simply the way they are. So you shouldn’t try to bring these things up and resolve them again after you’ve talked about them enough. Accept these reasons and just let go of them!
4. You seem needy and diminish your personal worth to him
Imposing yourself is not romantic or attractive – it is pathetic. You are probably tired of creating situations to get closer to him or to resolve things. Stop it! It won’t get you any further! And it only makes you less attractive in his eyes.
5. You are only adding unnecessary pain and stress to yourself
All of those strenuous mind games about what if you called your ex are fear-based. Why on earth would you want to flood your body with stress and more pain instead of just accepting the simple reality that it is not here? It is no longer your problem and you should try to keep this stress away from you.
6. You are wasting your time
Why should you spend your time worrying about him when you can have new experiences or learn new skills, like a hobby or a sport? You are wasting your time and energy. Trying to induce some kind of compassion by texting your ex is just a stealth statement that you don’t respect or don’t trust his decisions.
7. You are not in control of it, so let go!
If your ex wants to get in touch with you, he will. If not, why should you force him to be interested in a relationship that he clearly rejected? The reality is that your ex isn’t calling you right now. That could change anytime, or it could never change. But the thing is, it’s up to him, and you have to trust his timing and respect it.
8. He does not reciprocate the desire for a relationship
Although friends may suggest that you contact your ex because they are likely to want to offer their support, you shouldn’t. You won’t be able to make the situation any better with it because his desire to be in a relationship with you just doesn’t exist. He clearly said “no” to you. If he wants to get back into your relationship now or at some point in the future, he’ll know exactly where to find you. So the decision is up to him.
9. You are only lying to yourself
You could argue that you are just trying to be a good person and want to take care of them as a person, but you are just lying to yourself. You want him However, you cannot and will not be able to downgrade your feelings for him or pretend you are looking for a friendship, even though you are not at all. In some cases, caring masquerades as a kind of control. You love him and that’s why you should leave him alone.
10. Your behavior shows that you do not respect his decision
Your ex is an incredibly capable, intelligent person who ultimately finds a way to take care of himself. If he thinks the best decision for him is to say no, then you shouldn’t be trying to take control or sneak into his life.
Sometimes the highest level of love and care you can give someone is to respect that person’s wishes. There are moments when it is only appropriate to withdraw, sit down, and shut up. Your actions than simply mean that you love yourself and respect him more than forcing him to have you in his life when he doesn’t want to. You don’t love him any less, it just means that you are ready to put yourself first with love. After all, that’s exactly what he does.